inclination of contentedness

this past weekend I was able to use my birthday gift that my bf got me , which was a trip to Portland,OR . I’ve always wanted to go to Portland, something about Portland was pulling me in and wanted to go and visit and explore the richness of Portland. My friends thought I was crazy for wanting to visit such a “boring” place, but I bypassed the statement and hoped that one day I was able to go. Lone behold , My 25 birthday gift from the bf was a kindle and a trip to Portland, ( he gave me the kindle , so that i would have something to read during our flight to Portland, a 2fer you might say). I was extremely excited about Portland, since he bought the tickets, made the hotel reservation and booked a rental car, the best thing was for me to find things for us to do, bc this was my chance to explore and examine my curiosity with Portland. From amazing food, great people, greens, mountains, fresh air, no sales tax, bollywood dance, voodoo donuts, dita von teese , 20 miles bike ride from the mountain to downtown Portland, rain, brewery tour, relatives discovery, old arcades, Powell’s book store, pittock masion tour and food carts , overall I had the best time in Portland . Perhaps a possible move to Portland would be amazing … Only time will tell. :).

This year I told myself that I would travel more and so far I’m following thru : New York, Chicago, Vegas, Portland and up next Jamaica! ( pending) . Plus its a bonus to have someone who is actively wanting to do the same thing and ease the burden of planning a trip .

Until the next trip….

Everything is just pushing My button

My grandma freaked out about me wanting to tattoo my chin mole but all for me getting a breast augmentation.

It took me a while to realize how old  i was actually turning this year and the responsibilities that are forthcoming . for some time now i always thought that i had all the time in the world but in reality i really dont. i thought perhaps if i stayed at my current job that everything would be okay but it has truly it has been nothing to headaches and frustration. i cant live like this anymore . i didnt go to school for this shit . as of June , i will get shit done. i need to be more headstrong  and focus . i need to do this for myself , my future and my family . 

im so proud of my grandpa, he passed his citizenship test and in two weeks he is getting sworn in . <3

You just have to do it.

there is something surreal about seeing your birth certificate and your parent’s divorce papers on your birthday ….

maybe its because i choose not to care. 

Stay focus… Keep your eyes in the prize …

my theme song for this year. 

Regrets collect like old friendsHere to relive your darkest momentsI can see no way, I can see no wayAnd all of the ghouls come out to playAnd every demon wants his pound of fleshBut I like to keep some things to myselfI like to keep my issues drawnIt’s always darkest before the dawn
And I’ve been fool and I’ve been blindI can never leave the past behindI can see no way, I can see no wayI’m always dragging that horse aroundAll of his questions, such a mournful soundTonight I’m gonna bury that horse in the ground‘Cause I like to keep my issues drawnIt’s always darkest before the dawn